Don't Let Me Go
by MidnightSky101
Summary: Sequel to 'How Could You, Arthur', please read that first. Sir Gawain never got what he wanted from Merlin, so decides to take it by force, not caring about the consequences. “I’m filthy. Disgusting.” “You never came, I kept begging for you to save me.”
1. A Brave Face

**WARNING: This story contains rape, and homosexual characters, if that's not the kind of stuff you like, tun back NOW!  
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**A/N: So, I assume everyone now is fine with this kind of stuff, okay. This story is a sequel to my story 'How Could You, Arthur'. This story refers back to that story quite a lot, so if you haven't read it, you should probably do so, so that you understand this story. ****After this chapter, I may not update for a while because of exams and coursework and I'm trying to get the story finished actually, as well as my other stories and write one I've been writing for two years now, so please be patient, I will never discontinue my stories, that would be mean, and I wouldn't be able to do that anyway. Let the story begin:

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"_Merlin!" The servant turned to the man._

"_S-Sir Gawain," Merlin bowed slightly, "What can I do for you?"_

_The knight smiled politely at the action. "There's no need to be so formal. I was just going to ask how you were." He explained._

"_Oh, um…I'm fine, thank you. And yourself?" Merlin asked out of politeness._

"_I'm good, thank you." The two walked in silence for a while. "So, how are things with you and the prince after his announcement?" The knight asked, smiling._

"_Hmm? Oh, yeah, we're friends now, nothing else really." Merlin insisted._

"_Oh, really? That's good…" The knight suddenly pushed Merlin into a nearby room and locked the door behind them._

"_What are you-?"_

"_Don't worry; I'll still give you money." The knight laughed at his own sick joke before jumping on Merlin, knocking him to the floor, causing him to hit his head hard on the stone._

"Gah!" Merlin woke in a cold sweat and looked around him quickly. He was in Gaius' chambers, in his own room, in his own bed, safe, no knight in sight. Merlin choked back tears at the memory of the previous night.

It had been almost four months since Arthur had announced his love for Merlin, and the two of them were back to the way things were; teasing each other, joking, subtle touches, but they were still just friends.

Well everything _had_ been normal, until today, when Merlin was acting unusual. Arthur, knowing Merlin very well now, knew immediately that something was wrong, and had tried to get Merlin to tell him, but failed. He had allowed him to leave early to get some rest.

And now, here Arthur sat silently at a celebration of some sort, trying to figure out what could be wrong. 'Maybe he's just having a bad day.' He tried, but was unable to convince himself.

A drunken knight sat on the table next to him. "Evening, Sire." He slurred.

"Evening." Arthur replied, not looking up to the knight.

"Where's that Merlin boy of yours?" The knight asked, scanning the room for the dark haired disaster.

"Resting, something's wrong." He replied without thinking.

"He might just be recovering from our night last night." The knight suggested casually. It was only at this point Arthur looked up to see who he was talking to.

"What?" He asked, trying to keep his temper.

"Yeah, I had him last night." The man announced proudly. "Because you know, after you pulled him away from me, I never got a chance. I paid him though."

"Whose idea was it?" Arthur asked, flicking his fingernails together.

"What do you mean _idea_? I wanted him, he's only a servant. He told me you two weren't together. So I knew it'd be alright" The knight chuckled at his memories. "You should've seen him though, lay beneath me, so helpless, gasping and screaming, louder with every thrust. Funny thing was; he was shouting your name." He laughed again.

"You raped him?" Arthur asked bluntly.

"It wasn't really rape, he got his money." He nudged Arthur's armed and laughed his drunken laugh again. "He kept looking to the door though, like he was expecting someone to come and _save him._" He mocked the words. "Like someone would actually care!" He laughed for a final time, but this time it was cut short as Arthur punched his ugly face, knocking him off the table and probably breaking his nose, he didn't stick around long enough to notice.

"_I_ care." He muttered with enough poison dripping from the two words to kill an entire kingdom.

"Shit!" Arthur exclaimed once he was in his chambers. 'Merlin, why didn't you tell me? Oh, don't be stupid, Arthur, that's not something you'd want everyone to know!' He sat on the edge of his bed, his face in his hands. "Merlin…" His mind raced until all his thoughts merged together and he couldn't understand any of them.

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**A/N: Okay, that's the first chapter for you people, i will be updating...sometime this year...the summer's coming up, I'll write loads then, but i will update before that...I think..  
Anyway, please review!**


	2. The Dead Don't Feel

**A/N: The second chapter, this one contains sex between to guys, so if you don't like that, just skip over it.**

**YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

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"Arthur, Arthur?" Arthur cracked open his eyes to stare into Merlin's. "Did you fall asleep in your clothes? How drunk did you get?" Merlin tried to fake a smile.

"Merlin?" Arthur began, rubbing his eyes.

"Hmm?" Merlin glanced towards him from the cupboard, where he was finding Arthur some clean clothes.

"You…You know you can talk to me if something's bothering you." Arthur began towards the warlock, who half smiled.

"Is this about yesterday? I was just having a bad day, don't worry about it." Merlin insisted. 'I worry.' Arthur thought.

"Merlin, I…" Arthur paused to think. "I have no reason for you to be here until later this evening after the feast with my father. You can spend the day as you wish." Arthur took the clothes off Merlin and moved behind the screen to change.

"I got to leave early yesterday, and today I get the day off? Really, Arthur, I'm fine." Merlin lied.

"I never said you weren't, I just…don't need you today." Arthur explained.

"Okay, fine, you know where I am." Merlin said, leaving the prince's chambers.

'Okay, not much to get ready, just a few small things; good job I'm the prince.' Arthur smiled to himself.

-

Merlin had been summoned by Prince Arthur after dinner and was making his way to his chambers very quickly. He knocked on Arthur's door once, then opened it and called out, "Arthur?"

Arthur appeared with a towel and smiled to Merlin. "Merlin, remember how you told me you used to bathe in the lake to try and get clean when you…" He trailed off, not able to say the words.

"Yes…" Merlin stepped forward cautiously, closing the door.

Arthur held out the towel to Merlin. "There's a warm bath behind the screen, nothing but the best for the prince." He smiled at Merlin who now seemed to be in shock. "And, when you're finished, we really need to talk about this." Arthur's eyes seemed to plead with Merlin.

"Why are you doing this? I'm just a servant. You shouldn't care." Merlin reminded him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin! You're my friend, and I care about what happens to you." Merlin took the towel from him and followed where Arthur had been pointing to the screen. He looked back to Arthur just before he stepped behind it.

"Sorry, do you want me to leave?" Arthur motioned towards the door.

"No!" Merlin shouted quickly, surprising them both. "No," He said calmer, almost in a whisper, "please stay." Arthur nodded and took a seat in front of the fire.

Merlin moved behind the screen and slowly started to undress, then stepped into the bath, sighing as his sunk into the water. He leaned his head back on the side and tried to relax. He managed to stay still for three seconds, before he grabbed the soap and tried to rip a layer of skin off. 'How could I let him do that to me? They _never_ did that, none of them! Why didn't I stop him?' He lathered the soap into his hair and ducked under the water to wash it off. But he didn't come back up.

"Is the water alright, Merlin? I was worried it might have gone cold." No answer. "Merlin?" No sound. "Merlin?" Arthur sounded more panicked as he ran to the screen and slowly peeked around. "Merlin!" He jumped forward to the bath.

Just as Merlin was about to take in a deep breath, he was pulled out of the water by strong arms. "Merlin! What were you thinking?" Arthur yelled at him then noticed the tears steaming from the young warlock's eyes.

Merlin quickly looked away and picked up the soap again, scrubbing harshly at his skin. Arthur reached forward and stilled his hand. "Merlin…" He looked at the dark haired boy with sympathetic eyes.

"Why did I let him do it, Arthur? Why didn't I stop him? Now look at me." He held his hands up to the prince. "I'm filthy. Disgusting." He spat, self hatred lacing his words. Arthur sighed and reached into the bath, picking Merlin up easily and sitting him on the table.

"Come here." He wrapped Merlin in the towel and tried to hug him.

"How can you bear to touch me?" Merlin sobbed.

"Stand up…stand up." Merlin did so. Arthur reached out for the towel and Merlin flinched away. "Merlin, I won't do that, you know me. And it's nothing I haven't seen before, remember?" He took the towel off Merlin and looked him up and down. He smiled at Merlin.

"What?" Merlin asked, worried.

"You're still as beautiful as you were when I first saw you. You're perfect." Arthur promised. Merlin gave a weak smile as Arthur gave the towel back and turned to get Merlin's clothes.

After Merlin was dressed again, the two men lay on Arthur's bed in silence, hand in hand. Arthur watched Merlin as stared into a distant land. He suddenly tightened his grip on Arthur's hand, and Arthur turned and pulled him into him, holding him tightly as he sobbed. He had tried so hard to look brave, to not cry, to keep his emotions under control, but he couldn't, and here he was, coming undone in Arthur's arms.

"Do you want to talk yet?" Merlin sniffed and buried his head in Arthur's chest. "Okay, only when you're ready." Merlin cried into Arthur's chest, wishing he could stop being so pathetic.

"Ar-Arthur?" He sobbed. "Why did he do it? He…They never did that." He clutched Arthur's tunic and tried to even out his breathing.

"What? But you-"

"No! They never did that, it never went that far! I made sure that it didn't and they knew that! It was just orals or hand jobs, and sometimes I was on top…you won't believe how many of the knights like to be dominated!" He laughed quickly but then quickly started sobbing again. "Why did he do it?" Arthur had no answer. "And…I tried to…I shouted for you to help me, I kept shouting your name, but you never came, where were you? Why didn't you save me?" Arthur held the young warlock tighter, hiding his own tears at the boy's pain and the sudden guilt he felt growing inside him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know. I would never have let him do that to you, I would have stopped him. You know I would, don't you." Arthur pulled away to look Merlin in the eye.

"You never came, I kept begging for you to save me, but you never did. I kept screaming. Why couldn't you hear me?" Arthur bit his lip to stop himself crying. "This is all my fault! I'm such an idiot. What's wrong with me? I should've never let him—"

"Merlin! You're not to blame here, there's nothing wrong with you. It's that sick bastard; it's not your fault." Arthur reassured him.

"Yes it is; I should have used my magic, I should've…" Merlin realised too late what he had said and lay in silence, unmoving and barely breathing.

Arthur didn't move either; 'now is not the time for that, not right now.' He told himself, 'That's for another time.' He took a breath, pushing the memories of everything his father had ever told him to the back of his mind. "Merlin, if you had used your…magic," He struggled with the word, "he would have told the king, he'd make sure you'd suffer, or he'd blackmail you into doing something terrible." Arthur rambled, not really knowing what to say.

"I could've…" Merlin began.

"What?" Arthur looked at him curiously.

"I could've killed him, Arthur. My magic isn't just tricks." Merlin was through lying. "Arthur, I'm dangerous; take me to Uther, tell him; I can prove it. Tell him to execute me." Merlin begged, tears still streaming.

"I would never do that to you, why would you say that?" Arthur ran a hand through Merlin's hair and rubbed his back.

Merlin leaned into his ear and whispered harshly through sobs; "Because I can still feel him inside me, and the dead can't feel _anything._" Merlin sobbed again, and held tightly onto Arthur's shirt.

"Merlin, don't…." He choked back tears at the thought of finding Merlin dead, "Don't ever say anything like that again, do you understand me?" Arthur shook Merlin, trying to make him see sense, and before he knew what was happening, Merlin had kissed him. It was only light, a feather touch, but the second one was deeper, Merlin snaked his hands into Arthur's hair as Arthur's moved to hold the back of Merlin's neck.

"Arthur…" Merlin sighed, waking Arthur from his trance. Arthur pulled away quickly and stood up.

"No, no…no, no, no." Arthur said quickly as he began pacing. "No, I can't do that."

"I knew it." Merlin's hurt voice interrupted his thoughts; he looked to the broken figure on his bed. "I'm disgusting, aren't I?" It was more a statement than a question.

"N-No, no, it's not that; I can't do this to you after what he did." He turned away from Merlin, trying to get his thoughts together. "…you-"

"Arthur, I'm not insane, I'm not a child; I know what I want," He wrapped his arms around Arthur's shoulders and whispered in his ear, "And I want you." He kissed Arthur's ear and allowed him to turn round to him.

"Merlin…" Merlin pulled the prince to sit next to him on the bed. They quickly returned to kissing him, as much as Arthur felt he was taking advantage of Merlin in this state of mind.

"Arthur, please…" Merlin lay flat on the bed and pulled Arthur on top of him. "Arthur, take me."

Arthur froze and stared down at his friend. "Wh-What?" Merlin leant up and kissed Arthur as he lifter his tunic up and pulled back to lift it over his head.

"Please, Arthur; I want it to be you I feel inside of me not him, please." Merlin begged. Arthur looked down at Merlin with wistful eyes, he breathed deeply and helped Merlin out of his clothes as he quickly tore Arthur's britches off him.

"I love you, Merlin…I love you." He breathed over and over again between kisses. "I'm sorry I didn't save you, I'll never leave you again. I'll protect you…forever." He promised.

"Thank you." Merlin whispered. "I love you." Arthur kissed him passionately as he entered him making Merlin gasp in pain thanks to the lack of preparation.

He kissed Merlin over and over again, being gentle as he made love to him, just like their very first time, all those months ago, thrusting slowly, repeating his words, "I love you." To him, never wanting him to forget. Every so often he would nip at Merlin's collarbone and neck making him cry out louder than before.

As he climaxed, Merlin held tightly onto Arthur as though he would disappear, shouting his name at the top of his lungs. After, they lay quietly as their breathing evened out and their heartbeats slowed. Arthur kissed Merlin tenderly as he pulled out and lay next to him.

"Arthur…" Merlin whispered shakily, Arthur turned to see his eyes filling with tears; he quickly pulled the warlock into his chest and held him tightly.

"It's okay, Merlin. I've got you. I'm here." He kissed the warlocks damp hair and held him tighter still when his small frame wracked with sobs. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I was meant to show you that you could trust me with your heart-"

"No, no…I do trust you, I'm sorry, I just…It wasn't supposed to be like this." He looked up into the prince's sky blue eyes. "I was meant to be yours, only yours. That's why I never let any of the knights…" A tailed off and hid his face in Arthur's neck again.

"You're mine now." Arthur stroked a hand through Merlin's hair. "So don't ever think you can get away from me." He joked. "I promise I will never let anyone hurt you, if they do, they will die." He stated firmly, trying to keep his voice steady and strong. He gently pulled Merlin to look at him. "I love you, Merlin." He told him again. "Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too, Arthur." He whispered weakly.

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**A/N: So that's the second chapter, i unpdated that sooner than i thouhgt i would. Enjoy!**


	3. Visit To An Old Friend

**A/N: Third chapter (finally). It's a very short chapter, but it's a chapter none the less...please review...after you've read it though.**

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Arthur opened his eyes and let his gaze fall upon the sleeping figure lay beside him. This young man, who was once so cheerful, so full of joy and wonder, now lay in his arms, his soul beaten and broken because one man, one sick man, decided it was perfectly fine to take whatever he pleased, even if that was an innocent man.

"Merlin…" He whispered, stoking the younger man's hair. He kissed the top of his head lightly making Merlin stir in his sleep.

"Mrr…Arthur…" Merlin batted Arthur's hand away and shifted closer to him. "Just…just a few more minutes, then I'll get up and…" Yawn. "And I'll…"

"Shh…" Arthur laid Merlin's head back onto the pillow. "You go back to sleep." He whispered.

"'Kay." He nodded his head sleepily as he spoke. Arthur watched him as he fall asleep again then silently crawled out of the bed and crept to the door, opening it as quietly as possible.

He cleared his throat to get the guard's attention. "Sire?"

"I need you to give my father a message." He spoke confidently. "I request an audience with him later today. Oh and, get someone to bring me my breakfast."

"Yes, Sire." The guard bowed and hurried away. Arthur closed the door and started gathering his and Merlin's clothes up from where they had been thrown. He folded Merlin's clothes neatly and placed them on the chair.

He glanced towards the sleeping man on his bed and noticed how small he really was. His thoughts were disturbed by a knock on the door. He opened the door and smiled to the maid servant.

"Good morning, Sire." She greeted as she entered the chamber. "Your breakfast."

"Gwen?" Arthur asked as he closed the door. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be seeing to Morgana?" He whispered.

"She's just waking up properly; she's not really much of a morning person." She whispered back. "And why are we whispering?" Arthur pointed to the bed where Merlin was still sleeping peacefully. "Oh…Oh." Arthur noticed a blush on her face and looked to see Merlin had kicked off the covers.

"Oh…" Arthur jumped forwards and quickly covered him up again. "Sorry, he's a restless sleeper." Gwen placed the tray of food on the table and turned back to Arthur.

"I didn't know you two were…" Gwen blushed again, unable to finish the sentence.

"It's a very…new thing." Arthur admitted, his eye ever leaving Merlin.

"I see…Is that all Sire?" Gwen asked, remembering the Lady Morgana.

"Yes, thank you." She curtsied and turned to leave. "Oh, Gwen, out of curiosity, do you think it would it be alright with Morgana if Merlin were to spend some time with you two today?"

Gwen smiled at the suggestion. "I'm sure she'd be thrilled."

"Thank you." Arthur faked a smile as Gwen left. He turned to Merlin and lay on the bed next to him. "Merlin, come on, breakfast time, and you really need to eat." Merlin turned in his sleep and looked to Arthur.

"I heard voices." Merlin mumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"Yes, Gwen was here. Now get dressed, breakfast is on the table." Arthur kissed Merlin's forehead, then stood and walked to the table. "By the way," He began as Merlin climbed out of the soft bed. "I have to speak to my father about something of great importance, so would it e alright for you to spend some time with Gwen and Morgana today?" Arthur asked before taking a bite of toast.

"Yes, of course, I haven't spoken to her in a while." Merlin pulled on his jacket as he took a seat across from Arthur.

"I'm sorry about the babysitting; it's just that I don't want you to be left alone, not that you can't protect yourself, because clearly you can." Arthur rambled but stopped suddenly as a thought occurred to him. "Does anyone…Does anyone else know?" Arthur asked, leaning closer to Merlin.

"It depends; will they be punished for hiding a sorcerer?" Arthur raised an eyebrow and motioned a hand to himself. "Ah, yes. Then yes, someone else does know."

"Who is it?" Arthur asked, taking an apple from the tray.

"Gaius." Merlin said bluntly, hoping that he hadn't just killed Gaius.

"I see…How long has he known for?"

"Since I first moved to Camelot." Merlin confessed.

"I see…" They finished the breakfast in silence, not knowing what else to say, both trying to avoid the main subjects.

-

Gwen opened the door of the Lady Morgana's chambers. "Prince Arthur, Merlin, come in." Gwen opened the door wider and stepped aside, allowing the two men to pass.

"Merlin!" Morgana cried, rushing to the younger man and throwing her arms around him. "Merlin, please, tell me…" She looked to Arthur and cleared her throat, shifting from foot to foot. "Hello Arthur."

"Morgana." He nodded a greeting to her before turning to Merlin. "I'll be back later, I don't know when though, it depends what happens with my father." He stepped forwards and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"Okay, I hope whatever it is goes well." Merlin smiled at the prince, who returned it before leaving. Gwen closed the door behind him and Morgana grabbed Merlin's wrist pulling him down to sit in a chair next to hers.

"Merlin, I need to ask you something. I pray it was just a dream but…" She trailed off, looking at the floor.

"What is it?" Merlin asked, slightly worried. "Are you alright?"

"No, it's not me, it's just…I had a dream a few nights ago, a terrible dream of you and…Sir Gawain." Merlin shifted in his seat at the name. "Please Merlin, tell me it was a dream." Morgana begged, touching Merlin's hand.

Merlin sat silently, staring at the floor. "Even if it's a lie?" He asked looking up into Morgana's eyes that were now filling with tears.

"Oh, Merlin." Morgana flung her arms around Merlin again and held him tightly while Gwen watched them, completely confused.

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**A/N: So, that's the thrird chapter. Ooh...What will Arthur say to Uther? You'll have to wait and see...**


	4. A White Lie

**A/N: This is the forth chapter of the story...I did count the number of chapters but...I can't remember how many there were...Hehe...anyway, here it is! And I did not cry while I was writing this, really!...Stop looking at me like that!...Okay I did, but i cry at puppies! **

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"Father, I have requested this audience with you to ask that Sir Gawain be stripped of his title." Arthur crossed his arms as he spoke.

Uther's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Why do you say this?" He stood from his throne and walked towards Arthur, who breathed deeply to calm his growing rage.

"Knights," He began, uncrossing his arms, "Are supposed to protect the people of Camelot. They are supposed to make them feel safe." Uther raised an eyebrow, still not fully understanding.

"And Gawain does not?" Arthur gritted his teeth.

"No," His hands turned into fists at his sides, "he does not."

Uther said nothing, just stared at his son, trying to figure him out. "Has he committed a crime?" Arthur looked away to glare at the wall.

"Yes." He answered finally.

"What crime?" Uther asked, hiding the fact that he was getting slightly worried at his sons attitude towards the knight.

"Why do you ask so many questions?" Arthur snapped. Uther frowned at his son and turned to walk back to his throne. Arthur blinked his rage away and sighed. "I apologise, Father." Arthur bowed his head to the king.

Uther stared at Arthur, trying to work out what had happened. "Arthur," Arthur looked up and Uther saw tears sparkling in his son's eyes. "What did he do?" Arthur blinked the tears away.

"He raped…" Uther frowned and glanced at the guards in the room that had taken a sudden interest in the conversation.

"Guards, leave us." Uther commanded. Once they had left, Uther stood and walked to his son. "He raped…who?" He asked, stepping closer to Arthur who was staring at the floor and refusing to answer.

_If I tell his it was Merlin he won't care, he hates Merlin because of what I said…_

"Arthur…" Arthur looked back to his father.

"Me." Arthur muttered, Uther blinked twice_, this_ _couldn't be true, could it?_

"What?"

"He raped me." Arthur repeated louder, staring at his father.

"Wh…why would he do that?" Uther asked, more a father than a ruler in that moment.

"Probably because of what I said, I brought it on myself." Arthur turned away from his father.

"Arthur, that is not true, and you know it!" He laid a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Who does this man think he is?" Uther demanded. "I will have him executed! He will die toda—"

"No." Arthur protested quietly. He hated the man and wanted him to be punished, but not death. It wouldn't be what Merlin wanted; he's too kind, too gentle.

"No?" Uther frowned in confusion, walking around his son to look at his face.

"Not death," Arthur shook his head. "Not this time."

Uther seemed to understand Arthur's thoughts and nodded. "Very well, he shall be exiled from this kingdom, never to set foot here again." Arthur nodded in silent agreement.

"Thank you, My Lord." He bowed slightly, hiding his face. "I am sorry to have troubled you." He began to walk towards the door, but was stopped but Uther's arm pulling him towards the old king.

"Arthur…" Uther pulled Arthur into a hug and held him tightly. "I'm sorry I allowed someone like that to be a knight of Camelot. If I hadn't, this never would have happened." Uther inhaled deeply to hold back guilty tears.

"Father, please do not blame yourself." Arthur begged, wrapping an arm around Uther so that the old man could not pull away and see his tears. "I should have stopped him." Arthur quickly pulled away and looked at the floor. "I am sorry, Sire, I have some…things I need to do." Arthur quickly hurried out f the door, laving Uther alone with his thoughts.

-

Arthur let himself into Morgana's chambers and closed the door quietly behind him. "Merlin, shh…It's okay." He stopped and listened to Morgana's voice. "Arthur will fix this. He always does." She tried to comfort the sobbing boy.

"My God, I hate this! Why do I always have to cry?!" Merlin sobbed, breathing shakily. Arthur leant against the wall and sighed quietly. "Why can't I be stronger like Arthur? What's wrong with me?" Arthur decided he couldn't let this happen anymore, he stepped out an announced his presence very loudly.

"Merlin!" Morgana, Gwen and Merlin all turned to Arthur at the same time, Merlin quickly drying his eyes to hide his tears, "you are allowed to cry, especially now, after what that bastard did to you. And just because I'm strong physically does not mean I am strong emotionally." Morgana sensed this would be a conversation the two men would want to be alone for and signalled for Gwen to leave with her. She gently touched Merlin's shoulder as she left and whispered some comforting word into his ear.

Arthur waited until he left before continuing, their leave had given him some time to organise his thoughts, but it was still not enough. "…Seeing you…Seeing you like this, and imagining that son of a bitch, or any other man, _touching _you, and claiming you, or even looking at you, in a way that only _I_ should be able to…I just…" Arthur looked up to the ceiling and shifted on his feet. "Sometimes, I want to kill…no, I want to torture the bastard until he begs me for death for what he's done to you, other times, I couldn't care less about him as long as I never see him again, because I just want break down and cry because I know that I didn't save you, I didn't stop his from doing that to you, even though I know I could have.

"And all of this is my fault, if I hadn't said those terrible things about you, then you would have never had to do anything like that, you would have still been working for me and he wouldn't have even got the idea that he could have you for himself." Arthur stepped towards Merlin and knelt on the floor in front of Merlin, taking his hands in his own. "Merlin, I am so, so sorry." He tried his best to fight away tears, they both did. "I should have protected you, I should have never let you go, and I shouldn't have said the awful things I did. I love you, Merlin, but I couldn't help you, and I am so, so sorry for that. But please, please forgive me for being such a stupid, insensitive, hurtful, ignorant…" Merlin laid a finger gently on Arthur's lips.

"It's my turn to talk now." Merlin smiled weakly through the tears streaming down his face. "I forgive you for saying those things; I forgive you for being the prat you are. Because no matter what you do, or what anyone else does, I can't help but loving that prat as much as he loves me. You couldn't have stopped Sir Gawain, you had no idea what was happening. I love you Arthur, and I want to thank you for all the wonderful things you've ever done for me, not punish you for the things you didn't do." Merlin smiled and leant forward to hug Arthur, kneeling on the floor with him.

"I love you Merlin, I'm sorry, I love you." Arthur sobbed as he stroked Merlin's hair roughly and held him tightly to himself with the other arm, as though someone would try and take him away at any moment.

"I know, it's okay." Merlin stroked Arthur's arm and pulled Arthur into a tender kiss. "I love you Arthur." Merlin whispered against his lips.

-

"Merlin, don't call him Sir anymore." Arthur said calmly, recovering his prince-like composure after crying with Merlin and holding him tightly. Although, he still couldn't bare to say the knight's name.

"W-Why not?" Merlin asked shakily, Merlin asked, wrapping his arms around Arthur as they sat leaning against the chair.

"Because he won't be a knight for much longer…he won't be in the city – or kingdom – much longer, depending how my father feels." Arthur stroked Merlin's hair, trying to calm him.

"You…You told the king? And he cared?" Merlin asked, knowing how the king felt about him, he had almost spent a month in the dungeons after Arthur announced his love for Merlin, but thankfully, Arthur had managed to convince him otherwise.

"I didn't tell him the whole truth, just the basic things." Arthur smiled down at Merlin.

"The basic things being…"

"That…_Gawain,_" He said the name with such hate "does not deserve to be a knight anymore because he raped someone." Arthur said truthfully.

"So you didn't specify a name?" Arthur looked away briefly. "What did you say?"

"I told my father he raped me. He wouldn't have cared if it was you…or anyone else, well he would for Morgana, but then I would have had to drag her into this…But, my father agreed that he doesn't deserve to remain a knight, or in Camelot."

"Arthur, no! If your father finds out the truth, you'll—"

"He won't find out, Merlin, that knight can deny it all he wants, but, cold as my father is, he is my father as well as a king, he won't believe his word over mine." Arthur assured Merlin, smiling honestly.

"If you're sure…" Merlin said steadily, unsure of the plan himself.

"Come on, we've been in Morgana's chambers long enough; I'm starting to feel all girly." Arthur shuddered and stood, pulling Merlin to his feet.

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**A/N: There you go, another chapter updated and justice is finally being served! Please review!  
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	5. Under The Spell

**A/N: So, this is the fifth chapter. would like to apologise to To-chan for making her cry with every chapter. You'll probably cry more when Merlin dies. ONLY JOKING! Calm! Merlin doesn't die...really...aheh...oh, shut up and read it, then you shall know if the young warlock lives or dies...sorry. Calypso mode over. Enjoy the chapter!  
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"Merlin, are you asleep?" Arthur asked one night, the room around him pitch black.

"No. I can't sleep tonight, I don't know why." Merlin shook as Arthur chuckled, his body pressed tight against his.

"Merlin, can you show me something?" Arthur had decided he had waited long enough; he wanted to know what Merlin could do.

"Like what?" Merlin asked, stroking his fingers up and down Arthur's spine, making him shiver.

"Something…magic…" Merlin leant in and kissed him, rubbing his hips against Arthur's. "No…" Arthur stopped Merlin and looked at him seriously. "Something magic…real magic." Merlin froze and stared at Arthur's dark silhouette.

He swallowed thickly. "O-Okay…" He flicked his wrist at the candles at the bedside and bright flames sparked on the wick, illuminating the room in a soft orange glow.

Arthur turned and stared at the candles as they flickered. "…Huh…" Arthur swallowed nervously and turned back to Merlin. . "What else can you do?" He asked, unsure if he wanted to know.

"Magic is illegal, Arthur." Merlin reminded Arthur seriously.

"Yeah, well, so are we." Arthur knelt on the bed next to Merlin. "Show me something, Magic Boy!" Arthur joked, pulling Merlin to sit in front of him. "Please?" He asked sweetly.

"…Alright, what do you want to see?" Arthur blinked at the question and thought a while.

"I want to see…" Arthur looked at Merlin. "Tell me all the magic you've done since you came to Camelot, then I'll decide." Merlin raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

"If you insist…Lets see, when I got to Camelot I caught Gaius because he fell through the banister, and stopped a bucket of water that Gaius pushed off the table, then I met you and I dropped a box on your foot, and made your mace get caught so I could get the upper hand when we were fighting. And then I saved your life by dropping the chandelier on Lady Helen and slowing down time so I could move you so you didn't get stabbed by a dagger and die. By the way, did nobody ever tell you that if a dagger is thrown at you, you really should move." Merlin took a breath.

"Is that it? Just those?" Arthur asked hopefully.

"…Yes, that's it…" Merlin smiled at Arthur.

"No it's not, what else?"

"I also used magic to do various chores and move a book across the table that Gaius hit me over the head for…I also turned a stone dog into a real dog that almost bit my face off, then I used magic to make the snakes in Valliant's shield come out. And I healed Gwen's father, and used magic to kill that beastie thing using the flame from your torch. And I unconsciously used magic to lead you out of the cave when you went to retrieve the morteus flower for me. And…can I stop now?" Merlin asked.

"That was you? You led me out?" Merlin nodded proudly. "Have you…ever killed anyone with your magic?" Arthur asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

"Yes: Sophia, her father, and Nimue." Merlin answered just as slowly, not looking at Arthur.

"I see, so…what really happened with Sophia?" Arthur moved to lean against the headboard. Merlin sat next to him and leaned on Arthur who wrapped an arm around Merlin, holding him tightly, as though he would disappear forever if he let go.

"She was going to sacrifice you for an immortal life for herself, she had you under her spell, and you didn't even know it, well…that, or you don't remember that you knew it." Merlin thought out loud as Arthur ran his fingers through his dark hair.

"…Merlin?" Arthur began, staring into the distance.

"Hmm?"

"Can you show me what my mother looked like? I don't remember her, I was too young." Merlin looked at Arthur.

"I'm not sure…I can't do it now, I'd have to look in my spell book." Merlin admitted.

"Oh, okay…You didn't use a spell to light the candles." Arthur realised.

"No, I don't need spells with simple things like that, I was moving objects before I could talk." Merlin smiled.

"Merlin not talking…how strange." Merlin chuckled quietly. "So, what can you do?"

Merlin faced Arthur and looked into his eyes. "I can put you completely under my control." Merlin stared unblinking into Arthur's eyes.

"Really?" Arthur asked, looking back into Merlin's eyes.

"I'm doing it right now." Merlin watched as Arthur nodded slowly.

"Really?" Arthur blinked quickly.

"Arthur," Merlin began, in a strange voice.

"Yes, Merlin."

"Kiss me." Arthur leant forward and captured Merlin's lips with his own, kissing him tenderly, Merlin pulled away slightly to speak against Arthur's lips. "Lie down." Arthur wriggled on the bed and lay on his back and Merlin lay next to him. "Hold me." Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin, pulling him to rest on his chest slightly. "Hold me tighter." Merlin commanded in a whisper, Arthur did so. "Tighter." He whispered, closing his eyes. Arthur held him tightly, one arm around Merlin's shoulders, the other around his waist. "Tomorrow will be here soon…" Merlin mused.

"Yes, and Gawain will be exiled after his night in the dungeons." Arthur ran his fingers through Merlin's hair.

"Arthur…thank you for doing that." Arthur nodded silently. "Arthur…" Arthur looked to Merlin.

"Yes, Merlin?" He asked, looking down at the peaceful being in his arms.

"Arthur, please…keep hold of me, just as tightly as you are now, and don't ever let me go. Not ever." Merlin pleaded with him as he held onto his arm.

"I won't." Arthur promised, kissing Merlin's hair. The covers moved higher on their bodies, he looked to Merlin and briefly saw his eyes flash golden as the candles went out.

Arthur smiled as he felt Merlin's grip relax as he fell asleep. He knew that Merlin had never cast a spell of control over Arthur, and he would never need to. Arthur would always be there with Merlin, protecting him, holding him, kissing him, lying next to him watching him smile and snuggle closer to Arthur as he dreamt. Arthur would never again make the mistake of letting go of his fallen angel. He would protect him always.

Merlin was his now, he wouldn't let him slip away again.

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**A/N: Okay, so it's decided, there will be nine...or ten chapters to this fic (depends on how well i can count...i think it's nine) So enjoy the fic while you can...even though it's a hurt comfort thing...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	6. Just A Warning

**A/N:Uh huh! Alright! I did it! I have finished writing this story! Yay!!! But, in an effort to spit one chapter into two to leave you people on a cliffhanger, I ended up writing another chapter all together. Which is good for you people because you don't get a cliffhanger that will make you go 'Whaaat?!' And you get another chapter to enjoy, but you now have to wait longer for the final chapter...Oooh! Even though I've finished writing, I've decided to wait ages to update because I'm mean. I'll probably update every two or three weeks...In the meantime, you have the new series! But I'm missing the second episode because I'll be wearing a dress! Oh my God! Who, that's a huge rant...and I've just made it longer...and again, and again, and I'm going to let you read the story now...**

**Oh, one more thing (sorry) I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed this story, and I'm very sorry for making people cry, to everyone I couldn't or didn't reply to, (I'm sorry for that by the way, I had a lazy time), thank you all so much for the reviews!**

**Okay, now you can read it. Promise.  
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"Arthur…Arthur…" Merlin tossed and turned restlessly in his sleep. "Arthur..." He called out, the name a constant plea on his lips. "Arthur, please…Arthur!"

Arthur sat up suddenly, woken by Merlin's cries for help. "Merlin, Merlin, wake up!" Arthur shook Merlin violently, trying to wake him.

"No! Don't touch me! Arthur!" Merlin tried to push himself away from Arthur. "Arthur, make him stop!" He begged. "Please, Arthur, make him…"

"Merlin, wake up!" Arthur shouted, anger and panic clear in his voice. Merlin woke suddenly to stare into the angry eyes of his lover. He took unsteady breaths as he stared fearfully at Arthur.

"Arthur…" He whispered, lowering his hands from where they were resting on Arthur's chest. Arthur's face softened and he pulled Merlin to him, holding him close.

"Merlin, I'm sorry I scared you, I didn't mean to." Arthur rocked Merlin gently.

"I know. You were trying to stop him. You were trying to save me." Merlin looked up into Arthur's sparkling eyes. "You're my knight in shining armour. Do you know that?" Merlin smiled and kissed Arthur slowly. "Is it today yet?" He whispered tilting his head back slightly as Arthur's began roaming south.

Arthur kissed down Merlin's jaw and neck. "Yes." He answered against Merlin's flawless skin, trying to distract Merlin from the subject.

"Do you think we should-" Merlin gasped as Arthur nipped at his collar bone.

"You and your biting fetish." Arthur murmured, biting Merlin's pale chest gently.

"Shut up!" Merlin pushed Arthur off him, turning to hide his blush. "Arthur, do you think we should go and…"

"I want to make sure that he's gone from this kingdom, but I won't make you go." Arthur said honestly.

"No, I want to see him leave." Merlin said unsurely, staring at the floor.

Arthur gently held Merlin's chin and turned him to look straight at him. "Are you sure?"

Merlin sat silently, his eyes flicking around Arthur's face. "Yes."

"Okay." Arthur took Merlin's hand and led him to the wash stand where warm water instantly appeared as they drew nearer.

Once washed and dressed, Arthur gave Merlin a comforting hug and a kiss in the privacy of his chambers before they left to join Uther and Morgana on the balcony overlooking the courtyard.

"Arthur, you're here." Uther greeted his son, stepping forward and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, father, I want to make sure he's gone." Arthur raised his head and spoke proudly.

"You're very brave." Uther said, giving Arthur a comforting smile. Arthur smiled back and opened his mouth to say something when the sound of horns surrounded them. Uther patted his son on the shoulder before stepping forward to look out to the crowd below the balcony and there, stood alone in the centre of the courtyard was Gawain. Uther scowled at him.

"People of Camelot," He began in his booming voice, "The man before you, Sir Gawain," He made him sound filthy, unworthy of his knighthood, unworthy of any place in this world higher than that of rats, "Sexually abused your prince…my son, Arthur. For this crime, he is stripped of his title and banished from my kingdom." He announced to the crowd.

Behind him, Arthur had slipped his hand into Merlin's and gave it a reassuring squeeze after seeing Merlin pale at the sight of the man. Merlin turned his attention to Arthur who raised his eyebrows slightly. Merlin faked a smiled and quickly looked away from Arthur.

"Gawain, I swear if you ever set foot in my kingdom again, I will kill you myself." Uther promised. "Now get out!" He spat. Gawain walked through the streets of Camelot with his head held high. The people were silent as he walked past them, looking at him like he was filth and spitting at him. The people's hate filled looks followed him to the gate, where he turned and bowed to the king one last time before leaving forever.

Merlin breathed a sigh of relief and rested his head on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur stood proud, an evil smile on his face at the thought of Gawain being torn limb from limb by a vicious creature. Morgana laid a hand on Merlin's shoulder as she passed him and gave him an approving nod before leaving. "Arthur?" Merlin's small voice woke him from his thoughts.

"Yes?" He asked, turning to look at Merlin.

"Thank you." Me smiled at Arthur and lopped his arm through Arthur's. Arthur turned round completely and hugged Merlin.

"If anything like that ever happens again, you scream, you shout, and I'll come running. I promise." He whispered into Merlin's ear. Merlin hugged Arthur back, nodding in response.

"Arthur." Arthur broke away from Merlin and turned to see his father giving him a confused look.

"Merlin's been giving me emotional support these past few days." Arthur explained. Uther nodded.

"I see…" He gave Merlin a disapproving look.

"I am going to return to my duties now, father, the world has not stopped." Arthur bowed to his father, hoping that would be the end to this. Uther smiled at this and allowed his son to leave.

"Merlin." He called, just as he was leaving. "May I speak with you?" This was the king, it wasn't a question.

"Yes, Sire, of course." Merlin hurried back to Uther, who closed the doors of the balcony. The room was scarily silent.

"Now you listen here, boy!" Uther walked quickly towards Merlin. "Arthur is my son, and right now, he is looking for a person to make all of this better. He will want the closest person, and since you spend everyday with him, that will most likely be you. If I find that you have taken advantage of _my son_, I will have you hung, is that understood?" Uther snapped at Merlin.

"Yes, Sire." Merlin stuttered, feeling small in comparison to the man looming over him.

"Good." Uther stepped back. "Now get out." Merlin practically ran out of the room, closing the door quickly behind him and nearly running into Arthur.

He gasped as Arthur caught his wrists. "Merlin!" Merlin stopped struggling and looked at Arthur.

"Oh, Arthur, it's you." Merlin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Of course it's me, who else would it be?" Merlin looked to the door he had just run out of.

"I don't know…" Arthur glanced at the door before pulling Merlin away.

"Come on, you need to sharpen my sword, polish my armour, walk my dogs, wash my tunic, and clean my boots." Arthur turned to smile at Merlin and noticed he was wearing a distant expression. "Merlin? Do you understand what you need to do?" Merlin nodded absently. "And you also need to make my bed, clean the whole castle from top to bottom, brush Morgana's hair, find me a pixie and build a boat so that I can sail away to a magical land of goodness. Got that?" Merlin nodded again. Arthur rolled his eyes and pulled Merlin into his chambers.

"Huh? What?" Merlin stuttered as he lost his balance, falling forward. Arthur wrapped an arm around Merlin's waist and pulled him tightly to himself as he kicked the door closed.

"Merlin, what did my father say to you?" Arthur asked as Merlin regained his balance and slipped out of his grasp.

"He just said that you'd need someone to be with you right now. And I was the closest person. He just said…" Merlin trailed off and turned away from Arthur, walking to the bed chamber to make the bed.

Arthur watched Merlin from where he was stood. He sighed and followed Merlin to the bedchamber, wrapped his arms around Merlin's slender waist and kissed his neck.

"Merlin," He whispered into the young warlock's ear. "Please tell me what he said, otherwise I'll worry." Merlin rested his hands on top of Arthur's.

"He just warned me not to take advantage of you, that's all." Arthur released Merlin to that he could turn around.

"Warned how?" He asked.

"He…threatened me with death, but I'm used to that from him now." Merlin smiled cheekily at Arthur who kept a straight face.

"Not funny, Merlin." Arthur turned away from Merlin and began pacing. "How dare he threaten you like that? Yes, he's the king, but…You're Merlin…" Arthur turned back to Merlin and hugged him. "You're my Merlin. I won't let him near you, Merlin. I'll protect you from him and anyone or anything that tries to hurt you. I promise." Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur.

"Arthur Pendragon! You're getting soft!" Arthur pulled away and looked sternly at Merlin.

"I am not, I'm just...I don't want you to get hurt." Arthur blushed and looked away as the words left his mouth, realising that Merlin could be right.

Merlin held Arthur's chin and made him look back to him. "Thank you. But you don't have to worry, we're together again-"

"Forever this time." Arthur cut in, taking Merlin's hand.

"Forever this time." Merlin agreed. "Gawain is gone, and you know my secret, things are going are way. I promise." Arthur smiled at Merlin.

"You're right." He kissed Merlin tenderly. "So life can continue." He said against Merlin's lips.

"Yes…I love you Arthur. Thank you." Merlin whispered.

"I love you." Arthur replied.

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**A/N: I nearly did the thing again where I put up al lthe next chapters as one, that would ahve been bad, now before this turns into another long rant, I'm going to can over this chapter to try and remember what has happened here....uh huh...and say Please Review!**

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	7. A Fear and A Promise

**A/N: Okay, this is the seventh chapter, this is the one I was going to split into two but ended up writing another chapter completely which is, yep, you guessed it: Chapter 8! So...there shouldn't be any need for tissues for this chapter _I think_...If there is, I'm sorry. How are you people enjoying the new series? Don't you just hate the Arthur/Gwen-ness...don't you just hate Gwen? And that is why we are mugging my English teacher...long story.  
Anyway, enjoy!**

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"Come on Arthur, keep up!" Merlin shouted over his shoulder to the prince.

It was dark in the forest. Almost two weeks had passed since Gawain had been banished from Camelot, and Merlin was back to his old chirpy self…sometimes. Merlin still woke from nightmares to Arthur shaking him violently, shouting desperately at him, then the moment he did, Arthur would hold him close and rock him back to sleep, humming a gentle melody. And sometimes the memory would hit him in the middle of a task or conversation and he would remain silent until the task was complete and would walk slowly back to his room in Gaius' chambers.

"I'm coming!" Arthur shouted back, jumping over a fallen tree. "Where are we going? What are you meant to be showing me?" Merlin laughed as he ran through the forest, avoiding rabbit holes and tree roots easily.

"You ask too many questions!" Merlin stopped at a clearing in the forest so suddenly that Arthur ran straight into him and knocked him to the floor. "No, Arthur, not that." Merlin stated bluntly as Arthur smirked and pinned his wrists to the ground.

"Aww! But I want to!" He whined. Merlin bit his lip to keep from smiling and shook his head. "Later?" He asked hopefully. Merlin thought a while then nodded.

"If you let me up." Arthur immediately stood and held out his hand for Merlin to take.

"So what is this thing?" Arthur asked as he pulled Merlin up.

"A present from me to you." Merlin said simply. Arthur gave Merlin a confused look after looking around to see nothing but forest. "Just watch the sky."

"The sky?" Merlin rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Yes the sky." After looking to the sky for less than a second, Arthur took off his cape and laid it on the ground before laying on it. "What are you doing?"

"If I stay stood and look at the sky it'll hurt my neck." He patted the space next to him. "Lie down." Merlin did so "So what's this present for?"

"Because I love you, now look at the sky, you prat." Arthur saw Merlin's eyes flash golden and saw something sparkling in the corner of his eye. He looked up to the night sky to see the clouds disappearing to reveal the shining stars they had hidden for the past few nights. Arthur was about to say something when Merlin cut him off. "Wait…" Arthur looked back to the sky and saw a shooting star, then another, and another. There were no less than one hundred stars flying over the couple in all directions.

The shooting stars all gathered in one place, then began to make up images in the sky. The first was two men dancing happily together. Arthur guessed that was them. The next image was a warrior on a horse, holding his sword high as the horse reared then charged forward towards the earth before the stars scattered in all directions in an explosion of light and colour.

Arthur stared in awe at Merlin's creation and was about to say something when another image appeared. It was Arthur; he was being crowned king of Camelot. The stars swirled and formed a new image, the king stood next to his queen as they both looked down at what Arthur assumed to be their baby held tightly in his queen's arms. Behind them stood a lonely man whose head was hung to hide his glistening tears. The image exploded again and the stars seemed to instantly return to where they had been before magic had found it's way to them, the clouds following soon after.

The two lovers lay in silence, the wind through the trees was the only sound around them. Arthur turned to Merlin who was still staring up at the sky, as though he could still see the images clearly behind the clouds. "Merlin?" Arthur whispered. Merlin didn't react. "Merlin?" Arthur said louder this time, Merlin blinked slowly and turned to Arthur.

"Yes?" He asked quietly. Arthur glanced up at the sky.

"You don't believe that, do you?" He asked slowly, struggling with the words.

"Maybe…It's not impossible…" Merlin answered sadly. "…I don't know." He stood up and began pacing.

"Merlin!" Arthur stood and caught Merlin's wrist. "Merlin, you know I'd never do that to you! I could never…I love you, Merlin!" Arthur pulled Merlin to face him.

"Arthur, you're the prince, you have to become king and produce and heir." Merlin repeated Uther's words.

"Merlin, don't you dare think that I would leave you!" Arthur said sharply. Merlin opened his moth to speak but Arthur cut him off quickly. "Merlin, you are my manservant, and that is an order."

Merlin smiled sadly at Arthur. "You can't control my mind, _Sire._" Merlin turned away from him. _My heart on the other hand…_ "I'm sorry, Arthur." He said turned back to Arthur, he took Arthur's hands in his and kissed them both. "I love you, I know you wouldn't do that, I guess I'm just worried about what will happen when…" Merlin trailed off.

"What will happen when...? When I'm king?" Arthur asked. "Merlin, when I'm king, I will abolish that ridiculous law against magic and you will be right by my side. As Camelot's magical guardian, my adviser, and above all else, my true love." Arthur promised, resting his forehead against Merlin's and closing his eyes.

Merlin looked at Arthur with loving eyes. "Arthur, I love you." Merlin kissed Arthur briefly before Arthur pulled away. "Arthur?"

"Wait here." Arthur instructed, holding his hand out.

"Arthur, where are you-"

"No, no! Just…wait." Arthur interrupted before running off, leaving Merlin alone in the clearing. He sighed and sat back down on Arthur's cape.

"Well, Merlin, I must say that was a very impressive trick you just did." Merlin recognised the voice immediately and jumped up, looking around the clearing but saw no one. "Tell me," The voice was suddenly right behind him and something caught his wrist. "Does the king know about your _gifts_?" The man whispered into Merlin's ear making Merlin shiver as his breath cascaded over it.

"Gawain…" He whispered. "What are you doing here? You'll…Uther will kill you if he-"

"Ah, but if Uther somehow..._magically_ found out, he might accidentally find out about you, my dear little Merlin." With the last few words, he held Merlin's wrist tighter and grabbed Merlin's chin, turning his head to look straight at him.

"Unhand him." Gawain's smirk disappeared at Arthur's voice, but he didn't move. Merlin heard Arthur unsheathe his sword behind them. "Release him, now." Arthur rested the tip on Gawain's back.

Gawain let go and Merlin immediately ran to Arthur. "Thank you." He whispered as Arthur pulled him further behind him, nodding a silent response, his eyes never leaving Gawain.

"My Lord," Gawain began, turning slightly.

"Don't move! My father said that if you were seen in his Kingdom he'd kill you himself, but I'm the one here, not him."

"Sire-"

"Don't you dare." Arthur warned. "I spared your life once already, I won't do it again." Gawain ran across the clearing to escape, but stopped suddenly, freezing completely in mid-stride. Arthur turned to Merlin who nodded silently. "You're a coward." Arthur said as he approached the frozen man. "How you ever became a knight of Camelot is beyond me. You're vile. You don't deserve to walk this earth." Gawain's eyes filled with fear as he watched Arthur circle him. "And now, you'll be removed from it, we have no need for scum in this world." Arthur spat.

Merlin closed his eyes and looked away and his spell was broken, Gawain tried to run, but Arthur was faster. His cry echoed around Merlin as Arthur plunged the sword into the foul heart of the vile man. Merlin heard the body fall to the ground and looked back to Arthur who was wiping the blood off his sword onto Gawain's tunic.

"Arthur…" Merlin whispered, looking at the dead body. Arthur looked to him and all the anger and hatred in his eyes disappeared.

"I'm sorry, Merlin." Arthur turned to walk away.

"Arthur, wait." Merlin caught Arthur's wrist and stopped him, turning him back round. Arthur expected Merlin to be angry or sickened that Arthur had just killed a person, but he was smiled that stupid, goofy smile at him. "You saved me." Arthur blinked at the statement.

"Yes, I couldn't just leave you; I do remember what happened…" Something there in Merlin's eyes made him stop talking, not magic, something else.

"You kept your promise." Arthur looked at Merlin for a while, then smiled gently as realisation swept over him like a gentle breeze.

"Yes." He said simply, taking Merlin's hand. "Let's go home."

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**A/N: So...that was interesting, and in between this chapter and the next, there will be sex, actually, if you want, there could be sex in between every chapter. Anyway, enough with the sex talk, PENIS! Sorry, I'm in a really weird mood today, and if I type one more thing wrong I'm leaving it...Okay, as always, please review! And anyone who has reviewed previously, THANK YOU! *Bows humbly*I love all of them! And to everyone who said Gawain should die, this chapter's for you! Yay you! You have a chapter dedicated to you...kind of... Anyway, this is getting off the point, the point is, review. They make me happy!  
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	8. A Secret Revealed

**A/N: Ah, I am very happy with the reviews for the previous chapter chapter lots of which included 'Yay! He's dead!' or similar things. This is good. Thank you everyone for the reviews! Yay to you! *Blows kisses* Okay, the eighth chapter, be nice to Uther...Or not, either way.

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**Chapter 8**

Merlin lay next to Arthur in the prince's bed, watching as the fire licked at the logs and engulfed them one by one. Arthur had once more claimed Merlin as his and was now holding him tightly around the waist, their legs intertwined. He was kissing his neck, whispering as he did so, something he had taken to doing after each time they made love.

"Arthur, why did you kill him, Gawain I mean." Merlin asked, not taking his eyes off the crackling fire. Arthur froze, his lips pressed to Merlin's neck, a sweet kiss on the pale skin. He looked up at Merlin.

"I couldn't let him live, not after he tried _that_ again." Something occurred to Arthur and he gently grasped Merlin's chin, directing his sky blue eyes to his own. "Merlin, that time…that time you told me about, that was the only time, right?" Arthur asked, unable to hide the worry in his voice.

"Yes. He never tried to do the same again, and he hadn't tried before." Merlin said slowly, reassuringly as he linked his hand with Arthur's. Arthur laid his free hand on top of Merlin's head, pulled him closer and kissed his forehead.

Merlin laid a hand on Arthur's forearm and leant into the touch, closing his eyes. He felt content with how things were for him and his sweet prince. That is, until he felt his hair getting damp.

"Arthur?" He asked quietly, trying to look move to look at him, but Arthur said something that stopped him immediately.

"Please," he said quickly as he felt Merlin move, "please don't move. I don't want you to see me like this, not yet." He begged, his hand shaking in Merlin's. "I'm so sorry, Merlin. I'm so, so sorry."

"I know. I forgive you Arthur." Merlin said, squeezing Arthur's hand reassuringly.

"I know you do. But I don't. I can never forgive myself for what I let happen to you. This is all my fault, I said those things, and I didn't protect you, and even after that, I didn't apologise until it was too late. Merlin, Merlin…" He sobbed. Merlin moved his head and looked upon his crying prince.

"Arthur, please don't cry." Merlin said, cupping the prince's face and resting his forehead on his as he felt tears filling his own eyes. "Please don't blame yourself. None of this is your fault." Merlin tried, a single tear escaping and rolling down his cheek as he leant in to kiss his prince.

"What do you think you're doing?" The lovers both whipped their heads round to look towards the door where King Uther stood, red with rage.

"F-Father..." Arthur stuttered out, wiping the tears from his face. "This…" He looked around them and the rest of his sentence was lost, he and Merlin were knelt in his bed naked – the cover thankfully covering them slightly – with their clothes scattered around the room. This was exactly what his father thought it was.

"You, boy." Uther spat, pointing at Merlin. "Get dressed and come with me." Merlin nodded silently and turned around and began collecting his clothing, putting it on as quickly as he could.

"Merlin, wait." Arthur began, reaching for his own breeches and pulling them on.

"Hurry up boy!" Uther shouted, making Merlin jump and drop his tunic.

"Father, please-"

"Arthur, I'm sorry I let him do this to you, both of them." Uther rested a hand on his son's shoulder as Merlin walked towards him, head down.

"No, Father, please listen to me." Arthur begged, looking from Merlin to his father and back again.

"We will talk after I have dealt with this boy." Uther grabbed hold of Merlin's arm and roughly dragged him from the room leaving Arthur alone.

Uther dragged Merlin down the wide hallway, the moonlight and candles bathing it in a soft glow. He slammed Merlin against the wall, hitting his head hard. "I warned you boy." He said through gritted teeth as he held Merlin to the wall. "I warned you but you didn't listen." He raised his hand and brought tit down on Merlin's face, hard. Merlin said nothing.

"Why did you do it? My son, my only son! Could you not resist Arthur's vulnerability? Why?" Uther shouted, shaking Merlin with one hand while he repeatedly hit him with the other, his hand had formed a fist by the end of his questioning. "Answer me, boy!" Merlin said nothing, nor did he look at the king; he kept his eyes focused on his boots.

"Father!" Arthur caught his fathers arm before he could land another strike. "Please, Father. Let him go." He asked slowly, his eyes pleading with Uther, his eyes flicking to Merlin twice.

Finally, Uther lowered his hand and released Merlin, who fell forward to be caught by Arthur. "Merlin…" Arthur whispered, helping the boy regain his balance and pulling him away from his father.

"Arthur, what are you doing? He…he…"

"Father, I have a confession." Arthur proclaimed, pushing Merlin behind him. "I was not raped." His father looked furious.

"What?" He bellowed. "Why would you tell such a lie?" He glanced to Merlin whose hand was linked with Arthur's. "You!" He accused, stepping forwards to grab Merlin again.

"Father, let me explain." Arthur pleaded, stepping back and shielding Merlin. "I wasn't raped but…Merlin was!" He shouted to be heard over his father's loud protesting. Uther stopped trying to grab Merlin and stepped back.

"What?"

"I'm sorry father. I know how you feel about servants, especially Merlin." Arthur squeezed Merlin's hand as he rested his head on Arthur's bare back, kissing it gently.

"But why would you lie for him? Why would you protect him?" Uther asked, still confused.

"Because, father," Arthur pulled Merlin to stand next to him and wrapped his arm tightly around his waist. "I love him." He said, looking at Merlin.

"Don't be ridiculous, it was bad enough when you lied to the kingdom, but do not lie to me." Uther warned.

"I'm not lying, however much you wish I was. I love Merlin, and he loves me. We're in love." He concluded proudly. Uther glared at them both before turning and leaving them, unable to voice his rage.

"Merlin..." Arthur whispered, cupping Merlin's face in his hands and examining it, brushing a lock of hair from in front of his eye. "I'm sorry." He murmured, kissing Merlin's forehead. "I told you, I promised I wouldn't let him touch you."

"Arthur, it's okay. He was worried about you. It's only natural after what you told him. It proves he cares." Merlin offered, attempting to defend Uther's actions.

"I suppose…but still, he didn't have to hit you." He protested, laying a gentle hand on Merlin's cheek.

"Hmm...It doesn't hurt. Now come on." He said taking Arthur's hand. "It's late and I'm tired. Let's go back to bed." He pulled Arthur back towards his chambers, stopping only to kiss him tenderly.

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**A/N: ooh, Uther knows! Duh duh duuun! Oh well. I should really take this just a bit more seriously, shouldn't I? Especially since it's about rape...Right, sorry, paying attention. Please review! Only three chapters left! Oh the sadness!**


	9. Merlin

**A/N: I did not forget to finish writing this chapter...anyway, the point is it's done now.**

**Chapter 9**

Merlin sat in the armoury, humming as he polished Arthur's helmet. He smiled as he saw Arthur walk silently behind him in the reflection, but pretended that he hadn't noticed – he had learnt that life was more fun if he played along with Arthur's games.

Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin's waist and kissed his ear. "Boo." He muttered against the soft skin.

"Arthur, you scared me!" Merlin lied, turning his head to kiss his prince quickly before turning his attention back to the helmet.

"Merlin…" Arthur whined into Merlin's neck.

"Arthur…" Merlin replied in the same tone.

"I'm bored." Arthur laid his hands on Merlin's. "Come play with me?" He took one of Merlin's hand and started dragging him away.

"I have a job to do, Arthur!" Merlin said losing balance and falling into Arthur's waiting arms.

"But you work for me, and it's nearly the end of the day. Just think of it as me giving you the rest of the night off." Arthur pleaded, pulling harder on Merlin's hand, looking very much like a spoilt child.

"No, because then you'll be complaining that nothing's ready." Arthur groaned and quickly looked around again before leaning in to whisper into Merlin's ear.

"Can't you use magic?" He whispered, wrapping an arm around Merlin's waist. Merlin sighed and looked at Arthur with a bored expression.

"Arthur Pendragon, you will be the death of me." He turned to where he had been sat and whispered a spell. Immediately, the helmet was polished, the tunic washed and dried, the boots cleaned, and the sword was sharpened.

"Why couldn't you do that before? Do you have any idea how much time we-" Merlin rolled his eyes and cut Arthur off with a kiss.

"Arthur, shut up." Merlin murmured against Arthur's lips. He took Arthur's hand and led him out of the armoury, his eyes never leaving Arthur's. As he walked through the door, he bumped into something and looked round to see a young servant girl collecting her once neatly folded sheets off the floor. "Oh, I'm so sorry." Merlin quickly bent down to help her collect her things.

"Thank you." She whispered as she stood, and with a quick curtsy to Arthur, she scurried away.

"Arthur, you scare everyone away, don't stand like that!" He poked Arthur. "And why didn't you tell me I was going to walk into her?" Merlin demanded.

"I didn't see her." He admitted. "And we were going somewhere…" He reminded.

"Ah, yes." Merlin kissed Arthur. "But this time, I'm walking normally." He added, turning around.

"That's fine by me." Arthur pulled Merlin into his arms and whispered into his ear. "I get to see that sexy arse that will be mine, very, very soon." He nibbled on Merlin's ear then smacked his bum making him jump forwards.

Arthur chased Merlin to his chambers, closing the door behind them before being pinned against it. "Arthur…" Merlin whispered against his lips. "Arthur…" He murmured, dropping to lay gentle kisses on Arthur's neck.

"Yes, Merlin?" He asked, sighing in pleasure.

"Why are you always on top?" Merlin asked, surprising Arthur.

"Because, my dear Merlin, I am the prince and you…mmm…are not." Merlin latched himself onto Arthur's neck, biting down then licking the sore spot.

"You've played that card already this year."

"No I haven't!" Arthur argued. Merlin nodded, kissing Arthur's nose. "When?"

"Do you remember: 'Merlin get the bags!' 'Why can't you get them yourself?' 'Because I'm the prince so I don't have to.'"

"Okay then, fine." He pushed Merlin backwards and began walking them to the bed, kissing Merlin. "What about the fact that I'm stronger?" Merlin hummed and shrugged. "Or that I'm older."

"Barely!"

"Or that I know how to handle a sword properly." Arthur finished, ignoring Merlin's argument, as he pushed him onto the bed and fell on top of him. "And I'm sexier. Take your pick." Merlin chuckled and pulled Arthur down for a kiss.

"I really do love you, Arthur." Merlin said, looking into Arthur's oceanic eyes.

"I know, I love you too, Princess." Arthur kissed Merlin's nose lovingly. "What?" Arthur asked when Merlin whined. "Merlin, you're the damsel in distress, and I'm your knight in shining armour." Arthur smiled down at Merlin.

"My prince not-so-charming." Merlin corrected.

"Whatever, the point is, I'm on top." Arthur laughed evilly and attacked Merlin's neck with bites, licks and kisses after pulling off the neckerchief that concealed love bites already scattered across his neck.

"Always?" Arthur hummed his approval into Merlin's skin and moved to remove Merlin's tunic.

"Up." He whispered, Merlin sat up slightly so that Arthur could take off his tunic and throw it across the room.

"I wish you wouldn't do that." Merlin sighed in annoyance.

"Why?" Arthur looked curiously at Merlin.

"Because I'm the one who has to pick it up later."

"Just get another one out of the closet, you have some of your clothes in there anyway, just let the servant…" Arthur realised Merlin's point and pressed his lips together. "I'll go pick that up."

Merlin wrapped his legs tightly round Arthur's waist. "Move and I'll kill you." He warned, lust clear in his wide eyes.

"As you wish, Madame." He answered, smirking as he returned to kiss Merlin.

"Off." Merlin ordered, tugging at Arthur's tunic. Arthur rolled his eyes as he pulled his tunic off and dropped it over the edge of the bed.

"You really haven't got this servant prince thing, have you?" Arthur asked.

"You really haven't got this, shut up and kiss me thing, have you?" Merlin retorted, pulling Arthur down for a fiery kiss. Somehow they managed to take the rest of their clothes off without getting more than an inch apart.

"Arthur..." Merlin moaned as Arthur moved his hips against his. "Arthur, please...want you, now-oh!" Merlin moaned louder when Arthur slipped a slick finger into him.

"Merlin..." Arthur whispered against his lips. "Merlin..." He moaned softly as he added another finger. It was "Merlin..." he moaned as he pushed into the man he loved, Merlin's name he called as he exploded deep within that man, "Merlin" that his heart whispered every minute of his life, and Merlin who he wanted to spend the rest of that life with.

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**A/N: Do you know what, I could finish it there and you will never know how I was going to end it (Except for To-chan who I showed the last paragraph to a while back.) but then again i may not...Ooh, the choices of an author! Mwahaha! Please read and review!**


	10. A Last Choice

**A/N: This is quite a sad moment for me, after this there is only one more chapter. I'm sorry you had to wait an extra week for this, I wasn't in my home last week. **

**Anyway, here's the tenth chapter!  
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Chapter 10**

Merlin stepped sluggishly down the steps from his shoe box room. "Good morning, Gaius." He greeted groggily, finishing with a yawn.

Both he and Arthur had decided that if either of them wanted to get any sleep at all the previous night – not that they would be too worried if they didn't – then Merlin would have to go back to Gaius' chambers. So, after another hour of talking about the next days chores and duties, what the future would bring, how Uther was taking their relationship, and various other things that didn't matter to anyone, but kept them together a bit longer, Merlin had retreated back to Gaius' chambers.

"Good morning, Merlin." Gaius returned. "How strange of you to have spent the night here, you haven't slept here for some time now." Merlin smiled and scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah, it felt kind of strange to be back here." Gaius chuckled as he placed a bowl on the table.

"I assume that Arthur, or the lack of him, has something to do with that, yes?" Merlin's smiled broadened at the mention of his lover.

Merlin opened his mouth to answer when the door was thrown open, banging against the wall. "What are you doing?" Gaius asked the guards angrily.

"Merlin?" Merlin nodded. "You're under arrest for the use of enchantments and sorcery." The guards each took one of Merlin's arms and started dragging him towards the door.

"What? That's preposterous!" Gaius argued, but the guards continued to pull Merlin away. "Stop this immediately! Merlin is just a servant boy, he couldn't be a sorcerer!" Gaius insisted.

"No…No!" Merlin shouted, pushing the guards away with new found strength. He bolted out of the door and stormed down the hallways, not daring to look back. 'Arthur…I have to see Arthur…' He ran through Arthur's door and slammed it shut behind him, leaning against it to catch his breath. Arthur appeared from his bedchamber, confused at the intrusion.

"Merlin?" Arthur ran forward to Merlin and laid a hand on his arm. "Merlin, what happened?" Merlin was still catching his breath and he looked up into Arthur's eyes, pleading with him.

"Uther knows. Someone told him." Arthur quickly locked the door and pulled Merlin away from it to his bedchamber. "Arthur…"

"Merlin, who knew?" Arthur asked, grasping both of Merlin's arms tightly.

"No one, Gaius knew…And you." Merlin looked at Arthur's face, searching for any sign that he had betrayed him.

"Merlin, don't look at me like that, you know it wasn't me." Merlin looked down at the floor, he was right.

"Gaius would never do that, somebody must have found out." Merlin thought back to all the times he had used magic. "The servant girl." He whispered.

"What?" Arthur asked, confused.

"Yesterday in the armoury, there was a servant girl when-" His explanation was interrupted by a loud banging at the door, Merlin gripped Arthur's arm instinctively.

"Sire! Sire!" The guards shouted, still banging on the door.

"What is your purpose here?" Arthur shouted, the noice immediately ceased.

"We are here to arrest the boy called Merlin. He is charged with the crime of using magic." The guard explained.

"Merlin is not here, he's late again!" Arthur shouted, pulling Merlin into a tight embrace.

"We saw him run into your chambers, Sire. Please open the door so that we can search for him."

"You are mistaken, Merlin is not here!" Arthur insisted, pulling Merlin impossible closer, as though the guards were trying to wrench him out of his grasp.

He heard some muttering amongst the guards and then his father's voice. "What are you doing here? I told you to arrest the servant boy." He demanded.

"I'm sorry, Sire. He ran into Prince Arthur's chambers and he, the prince that is, Sire, is refusing to open the door."

"I knew he'd do this! Arthur, open the door!" He shouted, Arthur remained silent as he stared at the door, waiting. Merlin looked to his prince and stepped away, taking steps towards the door.

"Merlin, no!" Arthur shouted pulling Merlin back to his arms.

"Break down the door. I want that boy dead." He heard his father order coldly. Arthur stepped further away from the door, pulling Merlin with him. The door began to shake in its frame as the guards tried to force it open.

"Merlin, can you get us out of here?" Merlin stood frozen with fear. 'Gaius…' He tried. 'Gaius, please, we need a way out of here.' He stayed silent, waiting for a response. "Merlin!" Arthur shouted, he still didn't answer.

'Go to the stables, I'll meet you there, hurry!' He heard Gaius' voice echo in his head. "Arthur!" He wrapped his arms around Arthur as the door flew open and the guards rushed in to arrest Merlin. He whispered a spell and closed his eyes. 'Please work.' He begged the spell.

"Merlin? Arthur?" He heard Morgana's confused voice and looked up to her.

"Morgana." He whispered. She blinked at him, then looked to the door, and then back to him.

"How did you…" She began, pointing at the door.

"I can't explain everything now, but please listen to me." He pulled away from Arthur and walked quickly to the king's ward, holding out a silver necklace with a clear crystal pendant that had appeared in his hand. "When the time comes, and it is safe for me to return to Camelot, come and get me, you'll know where I'll be." Morgana gave him a confused look as he took her hand and placed the necklace in it. "You'll know when to come for me. Trust me." He added in response to the shock and confusion clear on Morgana's face, she nodded. "Don't come sooner any than that. Promise me." Morgana nodded again, holding back tears.

"I promise. I trust you." She sniffed and looked from Merlin to Arthur then back again. "Why are you leaving?" Merlin smiled at her, the smile that said 'I'll tell you later' "I'll miss you." She hugged him and cried onto his shoulder, knowing she wouldn't see him for a long, long time.

"I'll miss you too. You're a good friend. Thank you for that." Merlin pulled back. "Tell Gwen goodbye." He kissed her forehead lightly.

"I will."

"Merlin, you can't go!" Arthur argued, understanding that he would not be leaving with him.

"Arthur, I can't stay-"

"Than let me come with you!" Arthur argued again, stepping forward to take both of his hands.

"You're going to be king, you have to stay, Arthur." Merlin reminded him.

"I don't care, if you're not with me I'll die anyway. You know how useless I am a defending myself." He smiled weakly even though his eyes were filling with tears. "That and...Besides, you promised, Merlin, you said that we were together forever this time. And I promised that I would protect you, how can I if you leave without me? I won't let you!" He shouted, Merlin raised his voice as well, though it was hoarse because of the tears he had been holding back.

"Arthur I-" He tried.

"I'll follow you, Merlin. No matter what, I'll follow you, I'll stay with you. Please Merlin." Morgana was wiping away tears that had been brought by the scene before her and her sniff could be heard in the silence.

"Okay. I can't control you, if you want to throw away your future for one _man,_ then fine."

"Thank you Merlin."

"You're leaving too? Who will I argue with?" She joked.

"I'm sure my father will gladly argue with you daily." She laughed, tears still streaming down her face.

"Great, I'm losing my best friend and my brother! And I don't even know why!" She half joked, throwing her arms up and letting them fall back against her sides.

"I'm sorry." Arthur said genuinely. He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "I'll miss you. Make sure my father doesn't make any stupid…any _more_ stupid decisions." She hugged him and laughed.

"I'll try. I'll miss you too." They pulled away and Arthur looked to Merlin to see tears in his eyes.

"Gaius will be waiting." Merlin held his hand out for Arthur who took it with a confused look. "And Morgana, save yourself the hassle, when they ask, we were never here." Morgana nodded and waved to the two men as they disappeared. She sat down in a chair and dried her eyes. 'Camelot's going to be very boring now.' She smiled down at the necklace in her hand.

-

Merlin and Arthur stood in the stables "Gaius?" Merlin whispered into the empty silence.

"Over here!" Came the reply from the old physician. They followed the voice and found Gaius tacking up two horses. "What took you so long?" Arthur moved forwards and helped Gaius with the saddle.

"I'm sorry, we were saying goodbye to Morgana." Merlin looked to the old physician. "I'm sorry they found out. Tell them you didn't know, that you're disappointed in me, just don't let them know that you knew." Merlin begged.

"If that is your wish." Gaius nodded and embraced the young warlock. "Goodbye Merlin, I don't know if I'll see you again…becoming the great sorcerer I know you will be." Tears sparkled in Merlin's eyes at the thought of returning to a Gaius-less Camelot.

Merlin sniffed. "Goodbye Gaius, I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." He pulled away and allowed Merlin to climb onto the horse. "Now, there are some blankets for both of you, Arthur, I got your sword from the armoury, but was unable to get anything else of yours, the guards were in your chambers." Arthur looked puzzled as to how the phyciciam could have known that Arthur would leave with Merlin. "Merlin, there are some clothes, your spell book, and this." He held out the rabbit's foot to Merlin. "I pray that it will keep you safe this time."

"Thank you, Gaius." Merlin took the rabbit's foot from him. "For everything."

"Thank you, Gaius." Arthur echoed as they left the stables. "Don't get caught!" He shouted back. Gaius waved them off and hurried back to his chambers.

Merlin and Arthur thundered through the streets. The guards blocked the path at the city gates, but they stormed through them, forcing them to move if they did not want to be trampled. This was it. There was no turning back now. Here, together, they had made their choice.

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**A/N: I actually prefer the ending of this chapter than the ending of the whole story. **

**In a way, this is the last chapter, this is the last chapter set in Camelot, the last chapter with Gaius and Uther, the last chapter with half a decent ending and The last chapter for something else...Thanks for reading, please review, I'll see you in a few weeks!**

**D.x  
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	11. True Destiny

**A/N: Okay, here it is, the chapter you've all been waiting for, the final chapter of 'Don't Let Me Go.' And in advance, I'd like to apologise for how crap it turned out. And I would especially like to apologise to To-chan, you'll know why when you read it, To-chan.**

** But here it is, the final chapter:**

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**Chapter 11**

The village was a small one, and not well know, and to find it, you had to know it was there. It was far enough away from Camelot that nobody knew that a prince was living among them. It was here that Merlin and Arthur had decided to start their new lives.

They were still quite young, eight years had passed since they had left. They lived in a small house and were respected and loved in the village by adult and child alike, regardless of their sexualities. They earned an honest living, working in the fields and were still madly in love with each other.

"Arthur! Arthur!" The children shouted, rushing into Merlin and Arthur's house. They grabbed Arthur's wrists and began pulling him towards the door. One girl crept past Arthur and linked her hand into Merlin's surprising him.

"Oh my God! Oh, Kara, I didn't see you there." Kara smiled at Merlin as he picked her up and sat her on his hip.

Kara was the youngest of the children gathered in Merlin and Arthur's small house, at the age of seven years. She had no parents as she was left under an oak tree near the village when she was only a baby, and so Heather Cook had taken her in to her home and had fed, clothed and loved her as she did her own six children – though it wasn't easy as her husband had died the previous year.

As she grew, she had become particularly fond of Merlin, as he had with her, and she spent most of her days at his side.

"Arthur!" One boy shouted, "Teach us how to fight, we made swords and everything, please teach us!" He showed him the sticks they had found near the forest.

"Yeah! Teach us, please!" Other boys echoed. Everyone knew that Arthur could fight, he may have hidden the fact that he was a prince, but fighting and weapon handling was Arthur, and Merlin admitted it would be strange if he stopped practicing. He used the scarecrow in the field for practice.

"No, Arthur, play Princess with us!" A girl shouted, pulling on Arthur's wrist. "Please!"

"Now girls, you know Arthur's not a real princess, he just likes to act and dress like one." Merlin grinned remembering the time that Arthur had got a little too drunk one night and had paraded around the village after 'borrowing' Lisa Ferthy's dress.

"One time! One time and you've never let it go!" The children giggled at Arthur.

"No!" Kara giggled. "Mr Pendragon will fight the evil monster and save us, and we'll live happily ever after." Kara explained, waving her arms around to emphasise her point. Merlin looked shyly to Arthur at the memory of how their lives were.

"Why don't you go outside and I'll be out in a minute." The children cheered and hurried out of the house, as Arthur watched them rush off, Merlin whispered something to Kara making her giggle, he put a finger to his lips and she mimicked him. Arthur turned and the two smiled innocently at him. "We're not having kids." Arthur joked. Merlin pouted and held Kara tightly. "No, I've already got you!"

"Mr Pendragon, Mr Pendragon!" Kara began, reaching out to Arthur, who took her from Merlin.

"Kara, you can call me Arthur." Kara grinned at him, two of her teeth were missing and one was wobbly.

"Arthur…" She tested the new word on her lips. "Arthur...Arthur." She giggled and looked to Merlin as he leant on the doorway. "Arthur, are you and Merlin in love?" Arthur looked to Merlin and smiled lovingly.

"Yes." He answered without having to think. Kara smiled and kissed Arthur's cheek.

"Let's go and play now!" She shouted, jumping down, she ran to give Merlin a kiss before running to the door.

"Isn't Merlin coming?" Arthur asked.

"No, he told me that he always used to play princess with you, so it's our turn now." Arthur stared open mouthed at her then turned to glare at Merlin.

"Did he now?" Arthur raised an eyebrow at Merlin, who was leaning on the doorframe, looking very amused.

"Uh huh! Come on, Arthur, the others are waiting for us!" Kara shouted happily, grabbing Arthur's hand and pulling him out the door.

"Go, Arthur!" Merlin shouted dramatically from the doorway. "Play with the children!"

"Oh, bite me, Merlin!" Arthur shouted over his shoulder.

"Later, there are children around now!" Merlin shouted back, missing the blush that spread across Arthur face. Merlin smiled and shouted after the children, "Have fun! Don't forget about lunch!" He waved to them and was about to go back into the house when he saw it.

A small purple light in the forest, it was faint but he saw it. He looked quickly around him and started walking slowly towards the forest. The light became brighter, and then someone came out of the forest on a white horse. Merlin froze.

"Morgana…" He whispered, his old friend's name sounding like a prayer on his lips. He started running towards her, unable to stop his legs. "Arthur!" He shouted as loud as he could, not looking back. The woman on the horse cantered towards Merlin before jumping off and running the rest of the way to his arms, the light from the crystal glowing brightly between them before dying suddenly.

"Merlin…" She whispered. "I found you, I was so worried I wouldn't be able to." She sniffed.

"I knew you'd find us, I never doubted you. I knew you'd figure out that crystal." Merlin nodded to the deep purple crystal as he stoked the back of her head, his fingers running over the velvet hood. "I missed you."

"Every night…Every night since you left I saw you. I saw your lives…I saw your powers, Merlin…and I saw your love for each other grow. I wanted so much to see it right in front of me. I've missed you so much, Merlin." She cried onto his shoulder.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted as he ran towards him, sword in hand. He stared at the hooded figure. "Who are you?" He asked. Morgana stepped back and took down her hood.

"Morgana," Merlin began, "you've changed so much." Arthur dropped the sword and ran forwards to hug Morgana, picking her up and spinning her around, unable to contain his joy.

"Morgana!" He shouted. "I thought I'd never see you again!" He put her back down and looked her up and down. "You _have_ changed. Look at this!" He ran a hand through her shoulder length hair. She laughed at him.

"So have you two!" She dried her eyes and looked from one man to the other, they looked so much more mature and Merlin was not as pale as he had been all those years ago.

"Morgana, Gaius wasn't executed or arrested after we left, was he?" Merlin asked, worried that he might have sent Gaius to an early grave.

"No, but…" She looked away for a moment. "Gaius has been dead for almost a year now," She said regretfully. "He died peacefully in his sleep." She added in an attempt to comfort Merlin, he nodded and looked to the ground.

"I wish I could have been with him." He murmured.

"No, Merlin, you mustn't think like that! If you'd have stayed, you would have been killed." Morgana insisted. Merlin nodded wordlessly.

"And Gwen?" Merlin asked as they walked back to Merlin and Arthur's small home.

"She left with Lancelot when he returned to Camelot."

"Why now?" Arthur asked. "Why did you choose to come now?" Morgana looked at him.

"Because now it is safe for Merlin to return to Camelot, Uther is dead." Arthur stopped and looked from Merlin to Morgana as if asking them to tell them it was not true. No matter what he had done, he was still his father.

"Arthur, I'm sorry." Merlin said quietly, laying a hand on Arthur's arm. Arthur shook him off and turned his back on the two.

"So we must return to Camelot?" He asked Morgana without looking at her.

"Yes. Arthur, I'm so sorry, he was very ill, and the new physician is…well, he's definitely not Gaius." Arthur turned quickly to Morgana.

"Is it his fault he died? Did he kill him?" Arthur shouted at Morgana, making her lean away from him in fear, her eyes wide. She shook her head quickly.

"No, that's not what I meant, I meant that Gaius seemed to perform miracles and he can't." She said quickly. "That's all." She took a breath and stood straight and began speaking slower. "Arthur, he tried his best, but Uther was very ill." Morgana explained.

She seemed to remember something suddenly and began searching in her bag. "Uther wrote this and said that if you should ever be found after his death, you should be given it.

Arthur hesitantly took the envelope but did not open it, instead, he kept his eyes fixed on the seal.

"Arthur…" Morgana reached out her hand to lay it on Arthur's shoulder, but he turned away again.

"We must leave for Camelot immediately." Arthur ordered and marched off back to their house, picking up his sword as he passed it. Morgana tried to follow him, but Merlin grabbed her wrist. She looked back to him with tearful eyes.

"Leave him, I know him well enough to know that he hates people to see him cry." Morgana sniffed and let Merlin pull her into his strong arms.

"That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do." She sobbed into his shoulder. Merlin hushed her and rubbed her back soothingly as he watched the villagers stare at the two and then at Merlin and Arthur's house in disbelief.

-

Arthur entered his house then collapsed against the door, hiding his face in his hands, the letter crumpled in his grip. After several moments of silent sobs shaking his body, he wiped his face and stood, walking to the wash basin to splash cold water on his face.

As he dried his face, he turned to the letter he had placed on the table. Should he open it? What if it was more hate and rejection? Could Arthur handle that? Arthur shook himself, he had fought knights and magical creatures, he had courage enough for this.

He stood tall and picked up the letter in shaking hands, opening it slowly. He took a breath and unfolded it.

_Arthur, my beloved son,_

_I am so very sorry for all the things I said to you. I hope you can find it in your heart, one that is so warm and so like your mother's, to forgive me. I should have accepted Merlin for he made you smile in a way I had never seen, but instead I drove you away. I am glad you found someone who makes you happy, even though it isn't really the kind of queen I was planning for you. _

_Love is love, so if it is Merlin that you love, I am happy for you. Take care of each other, live long, happy lives together. Treasure and protect each other forever, because if your love is taken, it is truly unbearable. _

_However, in Igraine's case, the grief was not permanent because I was left with a wonderful son who grew into a man so quickly that I missed it, another of my many regrets._

_I can still remember the very first time you smiled at me, you have your mother's smile, you know, so bright. And without even realizing I was smiling back down at you, a toothless, giggling being with a few wisps of golden hair, one of the strangest things I had seen in my time, but you were mine, my boy, my son._

_I had no idea what I was doing, left alone with a new baby boy and no wife. You seemed to be drawn to my thumb, always grabbing it and sucking I, hoping for food I suppose, and you would look around, bewildered when you didn't have it. I often wondered if you knew that it was mine._

_I grow weaker each day, but pray that you grow stronger, although you were so strong already. You will be the great king that Camelot deserves, but I leave you with advise: Learn from the mistakes I made, do not repeat them, but do not be afraid to make your own mistakes, you can only learn from them. And you must choose someone you trust completely and listen to what they tell you, something I always should have done with Gaius._

_I love you, Arthur, was always and will always be proud of you, and I am sorry I did not say it enough when I was alive. I am truly sorry, my brave son._

_Your father, Uther._

Arthur's cheeks were stained with tears, his shoulders shook as he sobbed, but a small, sad smile was worn on his lips. He didn't hear the door when it opened, nor did he hear the person walk towards him quickly. Arthur leaned into the arms that surrounded him, resting his head on the man's shoulder as he shushed him gently.

Merlin took the letter from Arthur and read it carefully. "Arthur, Uther has given us his blessing." Merlin said, Arthur nodded in response, kissing Merlin lovingly and trying to fake a smile. "Arthur I can see right through that, what's wrong?"

Tears began rolling down Arthur's cheeks again. "I never told him, Merlin," He sniffed and let Merlin hold him tightly. "I never told him that I love him. I should have been there when he died." Merlin shushed him again as though he was a small child.

"I'm sorry, Arthur." Merlin whispered.

-

Everything had been packed and loaded onto the horses and Merlin and Arthur had bid everyone farewell when Arthur was stood next to his horse in silence, stroking its neck as he thought about his father's letter. M_y beloved son…wonderful son…so strong…you will be a great king…I love you…I'm proud of you…my brave son…_

Arthur was about to mount his horse when his thoughts were broken by Kara grabbing Arthur's leg. "Please Arth- Sire," She corrected herself. "Please don't leave us." She sobbed. Arthur bent down and laid a hand on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry, Kara, but I have to be king." He smiled weakly at her. She looked at the ground and sniffed sadly. Arthur looked up to Merlin. " Merlin, do you suppose there's room enough for just one small girl in Camelot?" Kara looked up, her eyes darting between Merlin and Arthur, hope sparkling brightly in them.

Merlin smiled, but made his face serious quickly again. He sighed heavily, "Oh, I don't know, where in all those rooms would she stay? And then we'd have to choose one…" Kara's smile fell, her deep green eyes becoming watery again. "Of course there is! Oh, providing that Heather…Mrs Cook allows it."

Kara turned on the spot. "Please Mrs Cook, I'll be quiet, no bother at all, they won't even know I'm there, I promise. Oh, please, Mrs Cook!" She begged, clinging to Heather's arm. Heather looked up to Merlin and Arthur.

"She'd be taken care of? Fed? Clothed? Loved?" She realized after she said it that she didn't even need to ask, these two men had always loved her, since the day she arrived at the village. She took a breath and closed her eyes, "Yes," She breathed at last.

"Thank you!" Kara shouted, jumping and grabbing Heather's neck. "Thank you! I'll never forget you, I'll come back and visit, and-"

"Go and pack your things or they'll leave without you." Heather ushered Kara into her house and a few minutes later they returned. Kara was skipping alongside Heather, a rucksack bouncing behind her.

"Ready!" She shouted happily. Merlin took her bag from her and Kara turned to hug Heather.

"Now then," Arthur began, turning to Merlin. "Whose servant would you like to be? The king's or his ward's?" Merlin gave him a look of disbelief. "You know I'm joking." Arthur laughed, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling Merlin to him. "You shall be my queen." Merlin laughed at the idea and kissed Arthur.

"Okay, but I'm not wearing a dress, that's your thing." They heard a squeal and turned to see Kara lost amongst four small bodies. She giggled happily and hugged and kissed her brothers and sister goodbye.

Kara wriggled her way out of the crowd and ran to hug her oldest siblings Annabelle and Joshua, fraternal twins at the age of fourteen.

"I'll miss you, kiddo." Joshua said as he hugged her tight and left a kiss on the top of her head before passing her to Annabelle.

"See you when you're older, pipsqueak." She hugged Kara as her brother had and kissed her cheek.

Kara smiled sadly at the family she was leaving, whispering a shaky "goodbye," before she ran to Merlin to hide her tears.

"You can come back whenever you want." He whispered as he scooped her up and held her close, rocking and shushing her.

"I have a girl to keep me company amongst a household of men!" Kara turned to Morgana who was smiling broadly, though tears were sparkling in her eyes. She took her from Merlin and hugged her tightly making Kara giggle in delight. "Come talk to me whenever you want, I can tell you how the king's ward should act." Her eyes flicked to Arthur quickly, an evil glint amongst the tears.

"Don't listen to anything she says. Ever." Arthur warned, messing up Morgana's short hair.

"Arthur!" She squealed, trotting away and shaking her head to try and put her hair back in place.

"We should probably leave, it'll be getting dark soon." Merlin pointed out. Arthur nodded in agreement and helped Merlin onto his horse, then took Kara from Morgana and passed her to Merlin, kissing her cheek quickly before he did.

He helped Morgana onto her own horse and smirked as she straightened her hair.

"King Arthur!" Arthur froze at the title. _King_. He repeated in his head. _How strange…_He turned to Joshua. "Take care of my sister, or you'll have me to answer to." He warned, but a smile tugged at his lips as he spoke.

"I will." Arthur nodded once, remembering Joshua's fighting skills; he could give Lancelot a run for his money. He held his hand out for Joshua to shake, he took it and shook it, smiling broadly as he did.

Arthur released his grip and climbed onto his horse, he turned to smile at Merlin and noticed his hand shaking on the reins, and holding Kara tightly with the other.

"You'll be fine." He whispered knowing exactly what Merlin feared. "I'm king, they can't touch you."

"It was nice to meet you, Lady Morgana. Goodbye Merlin, King Arthur, Lady Kara." Joshua shouted and Kara smiled broadly.

The villagers waved the four off, some of them crying, some of them shouting to be heard over everyone, some of them were bowing to Arthur.

"Goodbye!" Merlin, Kara and Arthur shouted back.

And then they were leaving, back to their old home, but to their new lives, after all this time. And although Merlin was afraid of what the people of Camelot would think of him now, he couldn't help but smile at remembering that everything that he and Arthur had been through, before and after leaving Camelot, they had done it together, side by side, just as it should have been. Merlin looked to Arthur and smiled – the dragon was right, Arthur was, and always had been, Merlin's true destiny.

* * *

**A/N: Ah, I bet you didn't guess that the last chapter would be the last chapter where Morgana had long hair.**

**I'd like to take this time to thank you for sticking with me through the longest chaptered fic ever written by me. Thank you all so much! Thank you to everyone who has added this story to his or her favourites, put it on story alert, and reviewed it, it all made me so unbelievably happy, thank you!**

**D.x  
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